I Should Have Done Things Differently!

Hi Brooke,
I am having some guilt on how I parented our son who is a high school senior. I was listening to a podcast recently on attachment theory. It discussed how it is important to let your child know you are there for them and to comfort your child when they cry. I am having some guilt and shame around a method I followed when it was time to put our son to bed when he was a baby. This method suggested in order for your child to learn to put themselves to sleep, it was okay to let them cry. Our son has Asperger’s and does not like to be touched much by those outside of the family. I am telling myself if I constantly held him and did not let him cry himself to sleep, that might be different. He might like hugs and a pat on the back from
others. I am wishing I could turn back time. I have been inundated with these type thoughts, if only I had… At the time, I was coming from a place of love and was doing what I thought was best for him.
C – Let son cry himself to sleep when he was a baby.
T – Bad mother. Probably contributed to his not liking to be touched by others outside the family.
F- Guilt, shame
A – Beat myself up in my mind
R – Feelings that I am a bad mother.

C – Let child cry himself to sleep when he was a baby.
T – Because I did this for a short time, he was a great sleeper as a baby and very happy.
F – Proud
A – Tell the story in a positive way,
R –
I still get a little confused with the difference between the A and the R line, too.
Thanks for your help!