Don’t want to clean up

I desire the result of a clean and organized home (and car…and life…) that I maintain and ENJOY maintaining. Right now I feel like I’m living in chaos. Putting things away feels overwhelming and I feel resistant to the act of maintaining my house. My thoughts are that it’s hard, it’s too much, I’ll never enjoy myself and only spend my time organizing/cleaning – I value my enjoyment more. Ironically I have a hard time enjoying myself when everything is everywhere and I can’t just do a project.

It’s easy enough to start something and make a mess/take it out. But the putting away afterward/cleaning up isnt ingrained in me. I would rather do something else and put it off until it’s a HUGE mess, making more work for myself.

This has been a pattern for as long as I can remember and I’m having trouble changing it. I see it’s ultimately good for me. But I can’t muster up the will to force myself to do it. I already force myself to do so many other things like go to work or work on my business (which is a big learning curve that I’m dissecting thoughts and feelings about). I’m tired and don’t want to clean up. But I want to have a clean house. I want to want to do it – to change my habits and thoughts and enjoy it. Please help!