I have the thought that if I am with someone and we aren’t talking it is a reflection on what I have to offer and how interesting I am. It never has anything to do with the other person, of course, because everyone else has so much more going on and therefor more to offer.

My DOTD is to be comfortable sitting in silence with my husband.

unintentional model
C: Silence when I am with my husband
T: If we are together and not speaking I am uninteresting and can’t offer any conversation AND he doesn’t find me interesting enough to have a conversation with me
F; self-conscious, anxious, no fun
A: over compensate and talk about nothing just to fill the silence. chatter
R: I am not interesting

Intentional Model
C: Silence when I am with my husband
T: Being together and not speaking allows us to simply enjoy the presence of each other.
F: self confidence
A: don’t fill space with needless chatter
R: sit in silence peacefully. Enjoy just being with my husband

So last night we sat. We had enjoyed an evening out with old friends, returned home and sat. I didn’t have anything to say. And I didn’t spend energy looking for a topic of conversation, or judging him or myself in the silence. I didn’t fill the space with any words, sound, movement. Neither did he. We just sat outside. Enjoyed the weather. After 15 minutes, we decided to head inside and call it a night.

I felt peaceful.

I am going to hold onto the memory of how wonderful I felt getting into bed last night with a quiet mind the next time I feel the urge to fill silence unnecessarily.