Doting family but lonely as hell

My family situation is somewhat of an odd one. I am an only child and an only grandchild on my mother’s side of the family. And my father is estranged from his family so my mom’s side is really the only family I have. But with this situation me and my 2 daughters are at the center of attention at all times. And most people say “Wow I bet you’re spoiled!” But over time with my kids everything became such work. They have expected to be part of every minute of their lives. Every situation—which I love in my heart but in reality is so overwhelming.

I feel as if all of these people want to ‘parent’ me and my girls at all times. We are a completely enmeshed family and I hate it. I feel no separation or as if I have my own life. I, as the parent have no say if they want to do something for my kids.  They do it regardless of what I say. They scour social media to see what my kids are doing and even ask to have them on life 360 so they all could know where they were at all times.  I drew the line there.

How do I separate myself and my ‘feelings’ from them? They do so much for us but at times it is so overwhelming to me.  I get so frustrated.