This month has made me notice how much I regret. So much. It’s like I look back at the past and I regret it and I also notice that as I’m thinking regretful thoughts, it’s really like I’m doubling down on my regret and the pain it causes. It’s like regretting the past seems really important in order to change but it’s really not at all, it only perpetuates regret and taking action from negative feelings. That’s been the most mind blowing thing for me this month. That I can have the same exact past and either think of it in a regretful and resistant way or in a way that lets it be okay.

UM
C: past
T: I shouldn’t have done that
F: regret
A: ruminate, beat myself up, regret myself, regret myself in the present moment for regretting the past, disconnect from the present moment, don’t plan how to move forward with my life, think that I should be different, the past should be different, judge and criticize,
R: prove there’s something wrong with me

IM
C: past
T: i did that and it’s okay
F: accepting
A: allow me to be me, allow the past to be as it is, embrace reality, accept what is, consider how to move forward, forgive myself, accept that there’s really nothing to forgive because the wrongness only exists in my own mind, come to terms with having been wrong all this time, let go of the idea there’s something wrong with me, let go of needing to be right, give up control knowing everything is always working out for me and that love is always available and the worst thing that can happen is a thought that makes me feel bad,
R: prove everything is perfect and the mind is so powerful