Doubt


I’ve tried and failed how many times? Each time I re commit and dedicate my self to stay on protocol, to not eat sugar or flour I give into the urge, then binge, then say screw it for a few days, then I’m so sick of myself I try again. But each time I go through this I the feeling of doubt that it will ever happen, no longer desireinf sugar or flour, increases. I feel the past evidence piling up against me- the harder I try and the stronger I commit and then fail, the stronger the doubt. Almost as if I didn’t commit or try as hard the evidence would be smaller. I know quitting isn’t the answer and I hear Brooke talk about the kid who walks. This doubt feels so real, so true. I think I’m incapable. I think I’m too lazy. I think I give up to easily. I think I’m weak. I think I don’t really care. I think I should stop setting goals. I think coasting sounds so much better. There’s a small small part that says this isn’t true, you can change but the other voice is so loud so sure. How can I build the small flame to quench the doubt?