Downloads are a downer …

Hi Brooke,
I am having some download trouble. I’m finding it debilitating to connect with the doubt and fear.
My understanding is that I want to go the where the ‘icky, sticky’ thoughts are, that I need to be aware of them in order to change or diffuse them. So I do a download and load up on all the icky thoughts of that moment.
Then I find that so discouraging that the idea of creating emotions like strong, capable, or optimistic feels false.
I am speculating that you will say I need to choose emotions that are not such a leap and I get that part.
What is confusing for me is that I have done a ton in my life and I often feel strong and capable (optimistic I’m still working on). The download is bumming me out and taking me further from those feelings that I want to be experiencing.
Signed, bumming in NYC