I have not been able to follow my drinking plan the last two days and therefore drank 5 out of 7 nights as oppossed to my plan of 3 nights of 3 glasses and 1 night of 4 glasses if i choose. The last two days i was totally aware why i drank. The first night was a day full of stress and sctually convinced myself to drink. I resited for like sn hour knowing i was goung to drink then I did. Yesterday I did a lot of negative thought work and the form for moving on. The rest of my day was great. I listened to the podcast on goals and then preceeded to do some great written work on my goals. All was going great! I spoke with my husband about a very lucrative deal he may have for his business and I was so happy and excited. My drink plan was not to drink. My father was very involved with my husbands deal at work so when i got home i ran to see him to thank him. As i was literally walking in his house with excitement i heard my thoughts…
“Im so excited I want to share in the excitement and drink wine with him”
“I know Im about to drink out of the emotion of happiness”
“ oh what the hell, im going on vacation tomorrow anyway and really cant do this drinking plan under vacation circumstances”
“I just wont really beat myself up over this because i can start over after vacation”
“Actually the vacation for me really always begins the night before with drinks”
All these thoughts in a split second!
Now im going away today through sunday with husband and friends. I feel i dont trust myself to be commited to my plan. My mind is saying, “ if I plan and fail my drinking plan while away, im going to be hating myself during and after” “ I should just go easy on myself and try my best knowing i wont stick to my plan and therefore I dont have to beat myself up so much”.” I can always restart monday.”
Any thoughts and suggestions?
Thanks so much, RG