I am new to Scholars but have used a form of the model for years. I have been a therapist for over 30 years and done a lot of work on myself, but its interesting that I never thought to apply it to my excessive love of wine. I knew I was not an alcoholic, but I find your term “overdrinking” so useful! Thank you! Most of the time I enjoy the relaxing dopamine hit, but have recognized there are times I am definetly buffering. My question is this: What are your thoughts on making a drinking plan, knowing you are buffering in a specific situation? I am going to be with a very difficult family member who is very negative and depressed, often suicidal. I want to be present with and for her, but its exhausting. My plan was to drink 3 glasses of wine every second or third evening while visiting. I want to observe my thoughts and feelings on all of the evenings, especially when I am having urges. I really have not had much of an issue observing and not giving in to urges while in my own home or eating out here: I just tell myself “it is okay to drool” 🙂 but I know dealing with this family member is so much more pleasant for me when I am buffering. Intellectually I know that my thoughts are causing my discomfort and that the only person I can control…on a good day…is myself. I think that I eventually want to not drink at all, but for now I am wondering how to plan to drink wine.
Thanks