Drinking with My daughter and son-in-law

Hi Brooke,
Here is my issue:
I have a daughter and son-in law that I love to be with and see them a lot! I have 2 grandchildren by them and I see them almost every weekend. They are buying a house less than 2 miles from me. Our relationship always includes drinking a lot of alcohol together. The thought of controlling my alcohol with a drink plan less than a bottle to a bottle and a half while I’m with them seems like something I could not even begin to tackle now. Yet, in all other areas of my life starting this program I have been on board with follow through with less mistakes to write and move on than being successful in changing my neuro-pathways.
I certainly know there is a compelling emotion as to why it is so important for me to have the need to drink and drink so much with them. I have some thoughts about why and I’m trying hard to figure out what these thoughts and emotions are that cause me to act on by drinking with them and so much. Right now I feel like it is way to big of a leap to say I will make my drink plan to just 3 glasses while I am with them to experience an urge. I am limiting the others days to none at all and drink plans of 3 glasses. So far I’m good with that and learning things about my thoughts and emotions and connecting them to my OD.
I need some bridge thoughts while I’m trying to figure out the real emotional reason for why I have the need to drink so much with them. The major goal in the long run would probably be: “I don’t have to drink with them anymore because I just don’t drink.” or ” It’s not necessary for me to over drink with my kids and just having a glass or two is and feels fine.”
Any suggestions.

C: drinking with A and B
T: I have to plan a big drinking plan when they are with me.
F: frustrated
A: drink with A and B
R: continue making drink plans and not get to the bottom of my emotional reasons as to why I have to drink with them and drink so much.

C: drinking with A and B
T: I need some bridging thoughts about drinking with A and B because just not drinking at all or controlling the drinking to a few glasses is just way too far of a leap for me now.
F: accepting
A: continue making drink plans with more drinks when I am with them and continue to work more models to figure out what underlying reason and emotion there is that I must drink with A and B and drink a lot; ask Brooke for some bridging thoughts, be patient with myself, realize I can’t tackle it all at once, compassion for myself and recognize I am working super hard on myself
R: All of my actions and scholars work will bring me to an understanding for this behavior. Recognizing that this is a huge component to my over drinking and it will take time to resolve.

Thanks for all your help