Dropping my manuals vs. expressing my feeling

I have a close friend who I think is very entitled and self centered. I keep telling him he needs to be more considerate of others and especially his close friends. We keep having these discussions that I feel are not getting through and this makes me resentful and frustrated.

Lately I have been to trying to drop my manual for him as I’ve realized I have expectations for what his behavior should be and he’s probably not – nor should he – gonna meet them cause he’s just living his own life and that is beyond my control. Although this thought has brought me some relief, on occasions I still feel very strongly about the way he’s acting with me and I find it hard not to have negative thinking about it and not to express my feelings.

I think there is something I’m not seeing here as surely dropping my manuals doesn’t mean I should stay neutral to whatever he does even when it goes against my values.

Thank you for your help here!