I’ve had some minor health/body things lately. A little weight gain, some aches and pains, some fatigue. Nothing earth shattering or even abnormal. But my brain instantly wants to go to “that’s what happens when you’re old. There’s nothing you can do about it.” I am 49 years old and, although I realize that I’m going to have a different experience with my body now than I did when I was 20, I don’t consider myself old. But this message keeps playing in my head because I’ve heard my mother say it so many times.
This is frustrating to me because I don’t fundamentally believe that there is nothing we can do just because of age. And it bothers me so much that she will just accept anything that happens and pair it with the thought “I’m old, there’s nothing I can do.” I don’t think I am like that because I’m constantly researching things about my health and how I can make it better. I came up with an entire regimen for my health and weight and I still try to find ways to improve all the time.
But now that I’m moving into menopause and I’m noticing changes that I believe are because of my hormone levels, etc I find myself thinking “well I guess that’s what happens when I’m old. Why even bother anymore?” And then I snap out of it and say “What the hell? Of course there is stuff you can do. There is always stuff you can do.”
But the constant battle in my head is wearing me down.