On Bev’s coaching call yesterday she said that whilst all circumstances are neutral, some circumstances make it easier to think positive thoughts. The example was the woman who felt more connected with her girlfriends who really listened and engaged with her versus her husband who says very little.
So for example, if my partner is affectionate and loving then it is easier for me to think “he loves me” versus him being un-affectionate and grumpy. Therefore if it is easier for me to believe the thought “he loves me” in the first example, then I’m always going to try and manipulation the circumstance (people pleasing) so that he is affectionate and loving so that I can more easily think “he loves me”. The alternative is that I don’t manipulate the circumstance and then I have to do the work on my own thinking to think “he loves me” which may be quite challenging for me to do.
Does this make sense? I hope you can provide some guidance.