Easter and guilt

1st off, I AM SOOO EXCITED TO BE HERE!!!! Thank you for all you do Brooke!
ok, so recently Easter came up. And I am married with 2 littles. Christmas is always interesting balancing the 2 sides of our family as we all live in the same state. So for 6 years since our first born we have done Easter with our friends who also had a child the same year. It’s become our tradition (both sides of the family didn’t request anything) Last year mother in law wanted Easter (cousins from out of town – special occasion) we said of course and it was great. We just adjusted time with our friends (much shorter). This year it was assumed we would come. I had the hard conversation and explained last year was special, this is more our tradition. So this year we will not be attending. Mother in law upset. Husband and I both want to honor our moms and the time they have left with grandchildren….sooo my model.
C: Easter with friends, not family
T: Breaking Nana’s heart.
F:Guilt, pain
A: Try to accept we get to choose what we want to. Our choices do have consequences
R:Nana upset

C: Easter with friends, not family
T: I am not responsible for Nana’s emotions or feelings
F: Neutral
A: Plan a sleepover at Nana’s
R:Nana gets memories, just not on Easter.

Also have the husband saying if we can do both (AGAIN) that would be best, he has been upset ever since. He says “This is part of being a responsible adult.” Thoughts?