Eating nonstop

First of all, thank you so much for being here for all of us. I am so grateful for your dedication to us. I joined SCS last year (I’m almost a diamond!) to focus on losing weight for the last time. I got down to my goal weight and felt wonderful. I struggled with maintaining and realized I hadn’t really learned to process negative emotion (which I constantly tried to mask by overeating). I felt like I was making strides until the last 2 weeks or so. I am a pediatrician and would say I was holding up just fine if I wasn’t eating all the things. I have been terrible at following my daily food plan and indulging in chocolate (lots of chocolate) all the time. I feel so disappointed in myself and terrified I am going to gain all my weight back. I feel desperate to stop which seems like it makes it harder to do so. I want to clean up my thoughts and have some compassion for myself. I’ve tried to outline the model but it’s messy:

C: Coronavirus pandemic
T: I need to help reassure all the anxious parents
F: Pressure? Anxiety
A: Buffer like crazy with food then beat myself up
Read articles daily to “be informed”
Spin in confusion
Don’t plan my day
R: Don’t manage my mind
Gain my weight back (even writing this makes me feel panicked)

Trying some different thoughts:
T: We are doing exactly what we need to be doing
People (including myself) are anxious and that’s ok
F: Relieved
A: Be more organized with my time
Do my daily work
Follow my eating plan
R: Manage my mind
Continue my weight loss journey

So grateful for any thoughts/suggestions you might have!