Eating disorders and IF

I have been struggling with bulimic symptoms for 8 months. Recently, with the set of thoughts coming up from a big business goal, I have started to go back to it.

I was doing a 3-7:30 eating window previously. It worked while I wasn’t pushing myself to try the things that scared me before.
I tried 1-7:30. I couldn’t stick to it.

I notice myself resisting lot of emotion. I am not handling urges well. I am exhausted. As I write this, I’m judging myself for having these thoughts and anticipating the response “notice the thoughts I’m not handling urges well…” its like my inner critic and inner coach are the same person.

Anyways, I wonder what the recommendation for protocol is with this kind of thing.

C: Bulimic symptoms re-emerging
T: I need to stop purging first- maybe changing protocol will help
F: curious
A: change protocol
R: figure out if it helps

That’s my intentional model. But I’m having a hard time giving myself permission b/c I’m afraid it will make symptoms worse.

I’m really struggling here. I feel so alone and I’m not sure whether to work on processing emotions, observing thoughts, making plans first or what.

I don’t want to cheat and change the C, that’s what my brain says. Change protocol you change the C. That’s for weaklings.