Elderly Mom living in another State


My mom lives 350 miles away from me. She is 90 and lives on her own. She has had a sore on chest above her breast for over one year. She is a Christian Scientist and works with a practitioner to overcome the sore through healing. I just saw her on a video call and got a glimpse. It looked very red. I hesitate to ask because when I do, it upsets her and she says she is taking care of it and doesn’t want to talk about it.

She is coming to visit over Xmas for 10 days. I want her to feel comfortable and I also want to check in with her without crossing a boundary she has asked for. Bottom line is I worry, and also know I may be worrying over a sore that is truly nothing.

Un-Intentional Model:
C: My mom has a red sore
T: I hope she is ok
F: Worried
A: Ruminating on the worst
R: Worry Loop

Intentional Model:
C :My mom has a red sore
T: I would like to help her
F: Caring
A: Pray for her
R: Do not bring up in convo because she will let me know if she needs me

I love this woman so much and my desire to help is stepping into her lane. I feel not talking about it is doing nothing. Am I still a caring daughter even if I do nothing here?