Election Anxiety and Different Opinion than Family


For the last week or two my parents, grandmother and my brother’s boyfriend have all been pushing me to vote but on their terms. “Go vote but vote for X candidate I like.” They all agree with each other. Personally I was NOT going to vote. I was going to sit this one out because I don’t believe in either candidate.

After so much nagging I told them, “Fuck alright I’ll fucking vote but don’t ask me anything about who I voted for because I’m not getting involved in that conversation.” After doing my own research from a neutral space, as much as possible, I decided to vote for candidate Y (they voted for X).

The way I filtered it was simple. My number ONE value is freedom. I asked myself which candidate was closer to freedom on a sliding scale. I also asked myself what my reasons would be for each. Now they won’t leave me the hell alone. My brother’s boyfriend insists I tell him who I voted for. My mom got offended when I refused to tell her and then made assumptions about who I voted for (which she was right about but I didn’t admit it) and now I’m afraid to move back home.

This weekend I’m supposed to be moving back home, and to be honest I don’t know what to do. I voted the opposite they did because I choose to be a free thinker and not just listen to what everyone around me is saying I should do. They refuse to respect my boundary and at this point I don’t want to go back home and be shamed for my decision. I hate lying. I hate it so much. I hate withholding the truth.

I have so many thoughts:

-I hate this stupid election
-I wish people thought for themselves
-Why do people think it’s okay to shame someone for a different opinion
-Both candidates are trash anyway
-I wish I knew how to survive on my own so I didn’t have to move back
-I’m scared
-I don’t want to be cornered by my own family
-Fuck politics

What should I do?