For the last week or two my parents, grandmother and my brother’s boyfriend have all been pushing me to vote but on their terms. “Go vote but vote for X candidate I like.” They all agree with each other. Personally I was NOT going to vote. I was going to sit this one out because I don’t believe in either candidate.
After so much nagging I told them, “Fuck alright I’ll fucking vote but don’t ask me anything about who I voted for because I’m not getting involved in that conversation.” After doing my own research from a neutral space, as much as possible, I decided to vote for candidate Y (they voted for X).
The way I filtered it was simple. My number ONE value is freedom. I asked myself which candidate was closer to freedom on a sliding scale. I also asked myself what my reasons would be for each. Now they won’t leave me the hell alone. My brother’s boyfriend insists I tell him who I voted for. My mom got offended when I refused to tell her and then made assumptions about who I voted for (which she was right about but I didn’t admit it) and now I’m afraid to move back home.
This weekend I’m supposed to be moving back home, and to be honest I don’t know what to do. I voted the opposite they did because I choose to be a free thinker and not just listen to what everyone around me is saying I should do. They refuse to respect my boundary and at this point I don’t want to go back home and be shamed for my decision. I hate lying. I hate it so much. I hate withholding the truth.
I have so many thoughts:
-I hate this stupid election
-I wish people thought for themselves
-Why do people think it’s okay to shame someone for a different opinion
-Both candidates are trash anyway
-I wish I knew how to survive on my own so I didn’t have to move back
-I’m scared
-I don’t want to be cornered by my own family
-Fuck politics
What should I do?