I made the decision to stay in a current role at work for the next 18 months because I have a lucrative contract. I like my reasons for my decision. The issue is that since I signed my contract, there have been a few organizational changes such that my core responsibilities have changed significantly. I am finding that I do not have the skills to perform well. I am doing what I can to learn them but it’s an ongoing process because it does not come naturally to me. In addition, I have not yet found a way to work easily with two of my direct colleagues.

I have coached myself so that I remain open to learning and also being okay with not getting along with everyone easily. However, the skill part and not doing as well as previously is challenging for me. I’m very self-critical and have anxiety around that. I’ve tried to coach myself around being okay with “being average” or being okay with learning, but the thoughts do not seem to be landing. I feel like I have the “Sunday Scaries” every day of the week.

How can I honor my decision to stay for the next 18 months and not feel like I’m failing every day and doing work that I am good at or that I love?