Emotional abuse

My husband of nearly thirty years called me an asshole tonight because I send a text that just said he was working out a long time. He texts when he goes after work and when he heads home. I meant nothing by it. I figured he was also watching the basketball game. When he gets home he calls me an asshole, that I am always accusatory. I just made a statement. Anyway, regardless, I feel like this kind of treatment is abuse. He often acts this way. I don’t know if it is stress or he is acting out because of something he is doing and should not be doing. I truly believe that when he knows he is acting wrong in our marriage, he takes it out on me. I would love to put that he is stressed in my thought line, but that just excuses him. I would be telling myself I would Feel better because he is stressed and I should be more understanding. It isn’t okay to call someone names, or withhold affection, which he does. It is always my fault, no matter what he has done. This is very hard to put into the model. I thought I would approach him and say no matter what, name calling isn’t appropriate..set some boundary…thanks.