Hi there,

I am stuck and struggling with question #5 on this handout from How to Feel Better, because I believe there has to be a deeper thought that I must be having, but I can’t seem to uncover it on my own.
-The person who I’ve thought causes negative emotion in me at times is my dad. He says things in a very harsh, blunt, direct kind of way at times and then my action is usually to agree/not disagree/shut down and not say much back.
-The feelings I have when this happens are apprehension, uneasiness and intimidation
-I have thought he has power over my emotions in these situations because he is my dad and when I was younger if I ever did anything wrong, what he said went and I would feel like I did something wrong if he raised his voice. I never could talk back (never abused but had been spanked once when that happened), so I never challenged any strong expressions of his emotions and felt like I had no power.
#5 is where I am stuck: What thoughts are you having that are REALLY causing your feelings???? I came up with, “I can’t go against him because he is always right”, “I can’t go against him because he is the parent”, “I don’t like him being upset so I don’t want to say anything else to worsen it.”

Based on the above, are there any other thoughts of what maybe I have been believing or telling myself that is keeping me stuck?? I feel like there could be something else that is just so engrained that I am just missing it and not even recognizing it if it is an automatic thought….