I was listening to one of Brookes coaching calls where she was talking to someone who has a boyfriend where everything is great about the boyfriend except for one thing. Brooke said, you have to do the work of letting go of this current guy in order to find the guy that you really want.
Here’s where I’m at. About two years ago I left the man that I had married. The reason that I left was because I knew that what I really wanted existed and this relationship wasn’t it. I found happiness in myself in the relationship and knew what I needed to do in my thinking and emotions to feel happy in that relationship, but our goals and way of life were not aligned so I left. I wanted my daughter to see an example of a healthy supportive, success focused relationship. So I started having all of my thoughts and feelings focused on that and manifested a man super quickly who had all of the qualities I wanted.
It was honestly so much faster than I ever imagined.
Now we’re about a year an a half into the relationship, we live together and we love each other a lot. We are very supportive of each other and have the same goals, we have a lot of fun, we have amazing sex. It’s exactly what I wanted when I was doing the thought work a year and a half ago. What I’m noticing is that the more that I grow, become present in myself, and do my own thought work, the more that I want more emotional connection.
I felt that this was there when we first started dating. But now if I look at him in the eyes he doesn’t want to look at me. He says I do this thing where I laser in and look into his soul and I’m like.. yeah duh that’s part of really seeing someone.
The only time that we connect emotionally in that way is during sex. What I’m noticing is that my thoughts go to – he doesn’t want to emotionally connect with me and when I have this thought I criticize him for things that I feel like make him less present, like scrolling on his phone.
The honor and me treating him like a king that I had for him before goes away when I feel like he doesn’t want to emotionally connect with me.
Here’s where I’m feeling a little stuck. I had the thought today that if I choose to feel really emotionally connected to myself, present in the moment, in my feminine, then I am already feeling that emotional connection feeling that I want and that I sometimes think I need from him. I bet that if I was feeling the emotional connection to myself 100% that he’d want to be more emotionally connected to me, be more attracted etc. because he loves when I’m super feminine and relaxed.
So I can do that and see how it goes. I love our relationship and him and what I know we are building together. How do you know when you have to let go of something to find something else vs just doing the thought work? If you asked me if I wanted to leave, I’d say no. 100% no. I just want to connect with him more because I love him and he’s such a beautiful soul. Thanks!