emotional load during meal

Hi, I am a Diamond in Scholars. This is a model I have been coached on and self coached for a really long time. Still is very present in my life and draws a lot of energy. I’d be happy to receive any suggestion from you, thanks

Unintentional model
C: food planned. Hunger scale -2, less than what I am used to before dinner. Had thought before the meal “this is more than my body needs I won’t eat it all”
**option 1**
T: My protocol tells me I can have it
F: elicited
A: eat
R: overfull
+ afterwards
T: I should have listened to my body (underlying model is B: I cant trust me → F: lost)
F: regret
A: beat myself up
R: fearful to take decision next time

**option 2**
T: I stop here because this is what my body is telling me
A: stop before
T: I planned it for my own interest, I was allowed to have it all
F: deprived
A: resist (= grit my teeth, salivate )
R: fearful next time
In either of the two cases I create the conditions to be equally as fearful and tense in the next meal. In front of the 2 options, I tend to choose option 1 because my brain sees indulging in regret less painful than resisting, as I can stay in resistance hours, I have a hard time allowing feelings like deprivation.