Emotional Suffering

My husband had an affair. We have decided to stay married and work through it.

I’m trying to process the pain. I understand my thoughts create my feelings and thoughts are optional. I understand the reason I’m hurting is because of what I made his unfaithfulness mean.

When we married, we entered into a covenant relationship with God to be faithful to one another; because of this belief, I believe my husband was wrong. I know thinking “this is hard” is a thought, but dealing with this IS hard. I don’t want to create suffering for myself; but that’s what I keep doing with my thoughts. I’m choosing to live through this. It is easier said than done to allow the pain.

The concepts taught in Scholars are new to me, and I’m trying to absorb and practice them. I have done a lot of avoiding and resisting, which makes it worse. How do I accept reality and stop arguing with it? How do I stop creating emotional suffering with my thoughts?