Emotional toddler question – Feeling my feelings

Hi Brooke. This is my first month in Scholars and it has been a challenging one. I believe I understand the concepts but I’m still learning how to manage my thoughts and emotions. I have two questions:

1. I’ve been able to create unintentional models. My question is, how do I get to change those thoughts? Would something like affirmations work? Usually unintentional thoughts happen in high stress situations where a lot of my brain is trying to “perform” in my very demanding job, so very efficiently my brain pulls the easy short cut!

2. This is a very basic question and I feel like an emotional toddler. Since I was a kid, I learned to never show emotion (not even feel, if possible) since it was a sign of weakness, and I would get punished for it. Obviously, I do feel them but usually in a very unintentional way (e.g an uncontrollable explosion of rage or long hopeless cries). How do I allow an emotion and manage it? For example, how do I feel sadness without starting to cry in front of my boss? I want to allow myself to feel a certain way but I don’t want the action to be that. I want it to be something I’m controlling and deciding.

Thanks so much! You and this program give me hope 🙂