I’m struggling with my thoughts about a friendship. I’ve known the person for 30+ years. We were very close/best friends for many of those years. As adults, we haven’t spent as much time together and over the last several years, I haven’t enjoyed her company at all. I know that anything that she says or does is a C but my thoughts about her feel very “true.” She has expressed multiple times to me that in her opinion I’m not doing things correctly as a friend or in my life overall. I have no desire to spend time with her and I’m unsure of what to do with that. I don’t want to continue in a cycle of drama with her and I don’t want to talk to or see her anymore. It feels awkward to just end our friendship without telling her but I’m not sure how or if I really even want to approach her. Here are some models:

C: Stephanie says words
T: I’m always in trouble with her
F: judged
A: dread speaking to her, get together every so often but don’t enjoy it, ruminate on what to do
R: ?

C: Stephanie
T: I want to end our friendship but I don’t know how
F: anxious/restless
A: ruminate, swirl in doubt, consider trying to “just be nice” or do things out of alignment with what I want
R: don’t figure out how

C: Stephanie texted “I have a few things to talk to you about”
T: this is just like the last time she told me how disappointed she is with me
F: avoidant (or like a feeling when you knew you were in trouble with a grown up as a kid…)
A: avoid seeing her, debate how to respond, don’t allow myself to be true to what I want (to her or to myself)
R: I’m disappointed

C: Stephanie said “I’m disappointed that you don’t prioritize our friendship”
T: She is ridiculous to have a manual for me
F: annoyed
A: judge her, complain to another friend and my partner, try to explain my life to her when i really have no desire to explain myself
R: I have a manual for her

Appreciate your insight!