Ended up eating after call

Can’t stop grazing after a coaching call yesterday.

I had a coaching call with a private coach that I employ and she confronted me about some of my thought patterns.

I have an on off relationship with my boyfriend, who I know isn’t good for me. He causes me a lot of upset, frustration, and confusion and leaves a string of empty and broken promises to me.

More recently, he has wooed me back by making more promises and I have chosen to go back. I feel frustrated when I’m with him and can’t trust him and just feel like I am going to get ready for sadness and disappointment.

My coach revealed to me that the only reason why I am going back to him is because of loneliness and also that he will provide some sort of financial comfort that allows me to leave my job which I so badly want. She explained to me that if I like my reasons, I need to accept him as he is and not expect him to be different. I found this a tough pill to swallow. She probed that there are many ways for me to find financial comfort, if I just opened my eyes to new opportunities and was willing to try new things.

The truth is I’m tired. I’m tired of it always having to be me. I’m tired of it just being me. I want to be taken care of for once. But at the same time, I’m struggling to fully accept him and know he will never change.

All this has caused me to end up snacking unnecessarily when I was not hungry.

Please help coach me.