Estranged Sister’s Birthday


I am estranged from my eldest sister. I am ok with this as I prefer to have no contact but to love her from afar. It’s been about one year since we had a ‘blow up’ (well, she had the blow up because I refused to argue back and then she wrote me off and refused to speak to me) She didn’t acknowledge my birthday this past June. Today is her birthday. I had an UM going for about a week that looked like:

C Sister’s birthday is October 8
T I’m going to ignore her birthday like she ignored mine
F Indignant
A Spin, ruminate, retell the tales of my childhood , look for justification for ignoring her from my BFF, my husband, my other sister, the dog, etc.
R I ignore all of my beliefs around forgiveness

C Sister’s birthday is October 8
T I want to send a Happy Birthday text to her
F Loving
A Focus on the good in my life, remember my beliefs around forgiveness, walk my talk, remember good times we had, send the text
R I love and honor myself by extending love to her

I think these are pretty good but I think the T/R isn’t correct.
Thank you.

PS I did send the text early today. She replied thank you and I left it at that. I feel good!