Every time I think I’ve got it

I do so much scholars work. I do a few hrs a day whether at home or just listening in car or trying to be the watcher. Every time my day doesn’t go as planned like at another time I would be like a bottle tonight… I repeat the pattern. I make a decision each morning and decide how I want to feel and then boom something gets thrown into my day unexpected and all goes bye bye. I know I using these interrupted days as an excuse to drink. How can I brake this I love this program. I want to succeed