Ex husband – affecting my children


Hoping you can help.

I have been loving the work and the model etc.

My problem is paralyzing anxiety hits me when my ex-husband texts me about my son/ my son gets upset with what is happening at dads.

He isn’t physically abusing my kids, but there is emotional abuse taking place.

Eg. Ex asks son to buy milk and says I’ll pay you back. Asks how much do I owe you?
Son says $4.20. Father says you can take that off the $200k you owe me for school and living so far.

My son is a good kid. His dad just doesn’t see it.

The father text me about boundaries for son… and I responded to say he is topping 3 subjects he is amazing… he thinks my son is pushing boundaries and dropping grades and he should be punished or reprimanded … alas.

I know that my thoughts are creating the feelings of fear and anxiety and I know they are not useful and they are creating actions of panicked and rushed responses to my ex that make no sense; I repeat myself and my worries to my partner over and over. And then I shut down. It really feels like a panic attack and primal brain kicking in. It doesn’t help anyone.

I would like help in pausing the space between the message and thoughts / feelings taking over. Working on increasing the space… before my reactive mind takes over….

Any suggestions / thoughts would be appreciated.
Thank you