Ex husband/wife and kid events

This is a biggie for me. The circumstance is always some version of them attending a kid event. Lots of things have happened in the past and I don’t like her and certainly don’t want her at an event with my kids-especially graduation or a potential wedding. They have little awareness of what is socially appropriate (thought, I know) and it makes me steamy mad at the thought of her being at his graduation. I just don’t want her there. I soooooo want my thought to be, “Isn’t it great that he has so many people to love him.” But, I feel like that is just painting pink paint around the situation (me pretending I am thinking that). I love and get the response to the recurring argument with husband post. It isn’t fair. And, I want to be super happy at all of my kids events,especially for them. So, maybe I am addressing the wrong issue as well? Thanks, you guys are awesome!