I haven’t talked to my ex in almost 10 years, but now he’s contacting me online and claiming that his life has gone downhill since our break-up, and this year pushed him over the edge and so he is thinking about “ending it”.
He’s reached out a handful of times over the years but I’ve purposely ignored him because we had a very turbulent break-up in which he was physically and verbally abusive and basically tried to ruin my life.
He hasn’t apologized for any of it and is now saying that I’m the only one who has every truly understood him and that he feels like if he could just talk to me again, he could see some reason for living.
I’m freaking out because I feel like I really could be the one factor in between if he decides to live or die, and I still do care about him as a person, but I’m afraid of him latching onto me and ‘hooking’ me into being more in his life again.
I’m afraid that if what he says is true and I can make a difference, and I do end up talking to him and saving him this one time… that he’ll continue to pull this same card on me over and over again.
My initial desire is to just ignore him and hope that he’s just being dramatic. Even if he apologized profusely for everything he’s done, I don’t want to be sucked into his life again.
But deep down I do care. If he did commit suicide, I’d feel awful for feeling like I might have been the one who could’ve prevented it.
I feel like the right answer is that whatever I decide to do, I can decide is the right choice. But is that really true when it comes to a possible life/death situation?
If I decide to ignore him and make peace with myself about it… and he kills himself…. and I make peace with myself about that…. I just feel like I’m being selfish. I know that that’s just a thought too.
I’m just very tied up right now in thought cycles. I feel like I have to choose between my own boundaries and another human’s life.