Hi there,

I’ve been struggeling with this issue for few hours, and it was awful, I think I managed to resolve it, but I realy need you to check on it and if there is any note regading my work with the model, or any other approach maybe? I don’t know I just need a feedback I guess…

C: Ex wife is asking for more money, and she is willing to initiate court proceedings

Unintentional thought pattern:
T: We are not able to pay more!
F: Scared, anxiety, I hate her
A: Panic, blocked, non action, thoughts spinning in my mind, blaming my husband
R: No change, conflict with my husband and ex-wife

Intentional 1#
T: She has the right to do that
F: disappointed
A: Beating myself up, for not being able to pay more
R: Victim mode, SHe has the right, I’m helpless…

Intentional 2#
T: She can do whatever she wants, she’s an adult
F: Concessive
A: Look up for legal help about the issue
R: Taking resposibility and control over what I’m able to do. I can do what ever I want, I’m an adult!!

It was interesting to see, how the intentional 1# and the intentional 2# seamed to be very similar, but how huge is the difference at the end.
The other thing I have learned, that being concessive with her, made me being concessive with myself, to be an adult and do what is needed, and that it made me come out of the victim mode, which is being a child after all.

Thank you for this work you do, and thank you for sending your feedback!

regards,
Gabriella