External Validation


So we went to a party at a friend’s backyard the other night. Before I left, I felt very confident about my appearance. I had just purchased a new sundress and straightened my hair. When we arrived, my friend who was hosting said hello and was super friendly, and then greeted a few other people and I noticed that she said such nice things to all of them about what they were wearing. Then another woman showed up and also complimented the person next to me.

I suddenly felt defeated because I thought, Oh, I must not look as good as I thought I did. I know it’s just a thought but it seems like there was evidence staring me right in the face that led to that thought. I can see intellectually that it is a thought, but at that moment and then for the rest of majority of the night, I felt insecure. How could I have changed my thinking at that moment? To try and self coach in the middle of the party felt difficult and did not seem to work.