F infatuated 3

It took me an hour or more to fall asleep yesterday and I woke up very early. My head is full of thoughts and I’m overexcited, I feel high, not tired even if I didn’t sleep much. It’s like I can’t control myself feeling infatuated by this man, feeling obsessed. Maybe it’s because it is so enjoyable to picture myself talking with him, my brain is stuck in this loop.

C – I imagine talking with this man
T – It’s so good
F – High
A – Ruminate over and over
R – I disconnect from reality

C – Lunch with this man
T – I want to be in love with him
F – Excited
A – Ruminate, talk to him in my head, listen to his show, imagine our lunch together
R – I create my imaginary love story with him

Maybe my power is to observe myself, to love myself even if I don’t like to disconnect from reality. I don’t like to be head over heels about a guy I don’t even know. I also think: “I fall in love with anyone, so quickly, what is my problem.”

This is a mechanism I’ve been witnessing for years. I don’t know why I’m like that.