Thanks so much for your input. Here is the model on the new thought, “my mom tried,” that I came up with in my private coaching and after talking to my mom and finding out that her mom hit her. I am never sure I have the right feeling!

C – I have a mom
T – she tried to be a better mom.
F – assured (is this a feeling or a thought?! Maybe quietly content is a better description. Almost content)
A – Thank her for trying, think of ways I can try, think of ways I can try every day or try better, release hostility towards my mother, no longer hold onto pain she didn’t try her best, realize at least she tried to show up as a good mom, at least she didn’t hit me.
R – I try to be a better mom.

Thanks so much.