Facing the future

I am a scrapbooker, memory keeper, digital collage artist. I have been writing daily for the last few months. Doing the exercises etc. This months theme on time managment has hit more resistance than I expected considering how much I love organiziation and all.
I have worked hard the last couple weeks to complete my incompletes and today I am faced with a virtual blank slate. To plan what to do next: Ask myself what would bring me joy and satisfaction and I can feel the resistance in that. I wrote this in my morning Thought Download:

“Living to catchup with the past is far easier and much more familiar than creating the future. Facing my blank slate takes responsibility about what I want to write on that slate. I guess I prefer recording what did happen rather than creating what will happen. I cant change the past. And facing the uncreated future freaks me out”

I am trying to just sit with the anxiety this brings up. I guess I dont have a question per say just that I am in a place of unease and not sure why I feel this way.