Hi,

I made an error in a file at work and it went all the way up to the high management. There is no real consequences, however I feel ashamed and guilty. I have to admit that these are feelings that I experience pretty often, when I overeat, when I overdrink. I am getting much better to control my eating and my drinking. However, I didn’t fix the underlying problem of feeling guilty, it is now just shifted to some other topics. I did a model,
Current model:
Fact : I did an error in a file that was presented to the high management and they were very mad.

Thoughts: I look bad, this is a stupid mistake, I could have been more careful and I would have avoided that mistake. My colleagues will find me incompetent.

Feelings: ashamed, guilty

Results: I think about my mistake again and again, I try to fix it, i apologized and proposed additional controls to avoid that this happens again. But I don’t move on, even though I learned….

What my model should be:

Fact : I did an error in a file that was presented to the high management and they were very mad.

Thoughts : everyone makes mistakes, the more responsibilities you have, the more chances you have to make a mistake. People don’t just juges you on your mistake but on your attitude towards them, how proactive you react, you own it, you apologize and you focus on solutions for the future. Thus, this is a great opportunity to show how you can handle difficult situation and it’s a great opportunity to grow and learn.

Feeling: Confident, creative

R: I act with confidence, I understand that it can happen to everyone but great leaders don’t beat themselves up, they are future oriented, so am I, I focus on finding solutions for the future, I learn and move on.

I like the proposed model better, but the one that loops in my head is the first one and I have a hard time getting out of it, even though I tell myself that it can happen to everyone….

Should I keep repeating the new thought? Maybe I should get one easier to believe for me at first….?

Thanks for everything!