Failure to get it done

Hey Brooke,
This is my second month in Scholars and I know I’m in the right place. I feel like every person you coach is there for me to learn from, every podcast makes me exclaim “damn Brooke, you’re so smart!” (Typically with headphones on, I have Scholars Tourette’s !) I wake at 5 every morning to study and write and work hard to apply what I am learning. I have seriously curtailed my food buffering, lost 10 lbs and have stopped using marijuana vape every night. I quit drinking almost 20 years ago and have been searching for the same awakening that I had all those years ago and Scholars is it. I have a very successful salon that I run with my husband and have greatly improved my management skills and how I feel about it through my work I’ve done through scholars. I am a Haircolorist, a business owner, a Mom to a 9 year old, a haircolor educator and presenter and generally a wildly productive person. My schedule at the salon is jam packed and my life is lived intensely,
My work for September was a work reboot. Doing a bunch of videos for my instagram (i already have a studio) learning editing tools (so that I can do it myself and not outsource it to one of my young employees), retooling my booking and billing to allow me to enjoy my work more and not jam it/not do it to my best capability due to time constraints and get my YouTube going. My scheduleing was done at the beginning of the month but I don’t think I was thorough enough and then life took over. My Parents live next door and weeks ago were arriving on a flight (my Mom messed up the arrival date due to red eye flight) right in the middle of a scheduled task. I didn’t complete my task for that day because they often pick me up as I travel frequently. I spoke to my Mom about boundaries and us being better about our scheduling and she totally got it. I’ve been working models on this and I am really wanting to get back on track. I had a family member pass away Sunday night and had to go to a Funeral yesterday and lost that morning.
Brooke I want to reboot. I want to forgive myself that I didn’t stick to my schedule. I see no benefit in torturing myself over this and spinning in confusion. I feel like I should have picked a different thing for my get it done – like not using at all or totally not eating for buffering or pleasure seeking. But I understand that this is what I chose and I shouldn’t indulge in “confusing”. I don’t want to create a culture in my own mind of “just try again” because I don’t want that to be a thing. I’m going to sign up for a coaching package because I think it would benefit me but in this moment I just want to get back on track. I love my reason for rescheduling – because I am sitting in a pile of shit and I don’t think that it’s serving me and I may as well get back on the horse. I do my thought downloads daily. I feel I am putting myself in a much better growth position through all of the work I am doing and will continue. Here’s a model that I worked on this morning.

C: September get it done
T: I failed
F: Disapointed in myself
A: Beating myself up and buffering
R: Not getting it done

Intentional model
C: Sept get it done
T: I am learning to schedule in order to constrain
F: Hopeful
A: Rescheduling tasks and moving forward
R: Getting it done

I know this is a process. The River of misery is no fun and as long as I’m swimming in it I’m fine but treading water blows.
Thanks for all you do,