Familial Conversational Triggers

How can I stop myself from reacting to certain conversational triggers that set me off? I have thrown epic parties for my 20 year old since she was one and over dinner yesterday she called them a nightmare and went on in that vein. It is so crazy but it felt like a gut punch and I just crumpled up – rethinking all of Thanksgiving and really everything I do that probably is over the top, but an honest reflection of my love.