Family and Being Alone

Hi, I have two Models regarding my family I would some help with. I have three children 3, 5, 10 and my husband.

C Family
T I don’t want to be around them
F ? Not sure the feeling. (I’m not mad or angry)
A Withdraw, avoid them, try to stay busy around the house so I don’t have to be around them. Don’t really hold conversations with them, one word answers, very grumpy tone. Don’t think about the fun things we can do together and the things we want to do together. Get really annoyed if they follow me which then leads to me pushing them away more.
R ? I don’t want to be around them, find being alone more desirable than being with them.

C Family
T they just ask me for stuff when they are around me.
F Resentment
A same as above
R ? I avoid them, not acknowledging their needs and then they ask me for things

I see it’s my thoughts creating my feelings. I think I have created so much pleasure around being alone. My thoughts are “I love to be alone, I can do whatever I want, no one asks me for anything or interrupts me”.

Of course love my family and want to create the same love for being around them as I have for being alone.

Thank you!!