Family drama


My grandma is selling the family home to an uncle and there’s a big rift in the family over it. A couple family members have called me and we’ve vented all kinds of feelings about this situation, about the uncle and the way this has been brought about, etc.

I’m feeling anxious about what I’ve shared, with thoughts like “I made things worse” or “People are going to find out what I shared on the phone with Aunt X” and “People will think less of me if my name gets dragged into it.” I’ve realized that I’m super trying to control my PR image – trying to control what people think about me. And the result is not really having my own back. How do I navigate this? I’m having a hard time knowing if there is a justified feeling of guilty for speaking so negatively or if this all me being insecure and not wanting people to think less of me.

Here’s one model I’ve got:
C: Phone call with aunt
T: People will think less of me if my name gets dragged into it.
F: Insecure
A: Try to control information and who I said what to, anticipate what others are thinking about the situation and about me, ruminating, speculate, talk about it a lot with my sister, avoid some conversations, really careful in some conversations
R: I already think less of me? [Included a question mark because I’m not sure this is really the result]

Thanks for your help.