Family mornings (and models)


Hi team,

I am having problem with my intentional model. Here is my unintentional model:

C: In the mornings, my husband says words to our kids in loud voice.
T: The yelling is not good for my kids and stresses me out.
F: Overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed and guilty.
A: Share my thought with my husband. Judge my husband. Judge myself.
R: Husband feels attacked, yells that he is not the problem, our kids are. Which typically is followed by me judging him more (“Our kids are not the problem. Your attitude is. Grow up!”)
P.s.: The irony is not lost on me. Vicious circle does not slow down.)

Intentional model:

C: In the mornings, my husband says words to our kids in loud voice.
T: Me trying to control my husband and how he communicates is not helpful to anyone in this family.
F: Still overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed, but now also RESENTFUL and: more guilt.
A: Do not share my thought with my husband. Judge my husband and myself in silence.
R: Husband keeps yelling at kids while looking at me suspiciously from time to time, he seems to get more tense anticipating my judgement. We are still all caught in circle of tension, now with a dash of paranoia.

Please help, I have a feeling I need to find a different thought for my intentional model. Any ideas on what I could try instead?

Many thanks!