I have been working on not over-drinking since I’ve started on SCS. When I am around my family (parents siblings), I am struggling with overeating. I think that I was an over-eater most of my time growing up (and well into adulthood until I replaced that with drinking).
The other thing I realized with listening to the most recent coaching call, is that controlling things was a way of buffering too and that’s what I had been doing around them too. I have really worked on not being controlling with my family after the month on relationships. Now I’m around my family, the overwhelming thoughts start and I am not over-drinking, not controlling, but then I am going right into overeating!
C: my family
T: They never take care of themselves, so I need to take care of them.
R: I’m not taking care of myself, so I am even less capable of taking care of them
C: my family
T: They are all grown adults, responsible for themselves.
F: At ease
A: Staying more present when I’m with them.
R: A better emotional connection and ability to support them if they need me.
I believe the thought in the second model and it does put me at ease, but I know when I’m with them, the thought in the first model is what will come up. I’ve been thinking that thought for 30 years probably, so it’s strong!