I’m going to visit my father, stepmother, my half brother and sister and their spouses this weekend. I feel like an outsider because they don’t seem to accept me as family. I always visit them. I put forth more effort. I want to put forth effort because I want a relationship and if I don’t, contact is very infrequent and I’d like it to improve. I’m having trouble because I want it and it’s not reciprocal but if I don’t make the effort, it’s less.
C they have their own lives away from me
T they aren’t very interested in having a relationship with me
F sad
A I put forth more effort
R I have more of a relationship than if I didn’t, even though it isn’t what I’d like.

C I go to visit them
T everyone does what they want
F joyful when with myself or others
A enjoy time I have with who ever I’m with
R

Somehow it still feels bad