I spent some time with my parents over the weekend. Here are my models on the visit..
C: I was at my parents house with my boyfriend and my dog on Friday night and Saturday morning
T: they are narcissistic and made us feel very unwelcome and uncomfortable
A: talk about it with my boyfriend and friends, relive what happened in my mind, try to match their behaviour with psychology (even though I’m not qualified to do so!), buffer on Facebook and with TV, think negatively about future time spent with them
R: I paint the visit as negative and create negativity with my thoughts
T: It’s ok to be frustrated but I know this is optional and I can work on other thoughts when I’m ready
A: allow space for myself to feel disappointment and frustration, but recognise the thoughts are optional and circumstance is neutral. Focus on what I can do today despite my frustration (cook, self-coach, shop for groceries etc), Stop talking about them negatively, stop criticising them, stop reliving circumstances or predicting future actions – there is no upside
R: I create space to feel frustrated about the visit but recognise it’s my own thoughts
I’m very confused as to whether I’m doing the right thing with this model! I know I’m not ready for a “positive” model about my visit with them and will use my upcoming coaching session to get to one… For now I think I need to create space for myself to feel frustrated. However is it possible for me to feel compassion for my frustration but stop indulging in the A line of my unintentional model?