Family Went out without my Family

C: my sister and her family and my parents went out to dinner for my brother-in-law’s birthday without my family. They had asked whether we could come, we were busy and I suggested an alternative date. No response. They went out anyway
T: they’re deliberately excluding me/I don’t matter enough
F: hurt
A: try to organize to go out twice – another time. Try to thought swap and think there is nothing wrong here. Downplay my sadness and feelings. But also feel awful. Ruminate

This is complex as I’ve worked hard to mend a bad relationship between my sister and me and make every effort to be neutral and friendly around her.  However, when this kind of thing happens I feel excluded and like they don’t like me. I feel hurt. I’m trying not to but maybe I just need to allow the hurt. I don’t know whether I should try to thought swap and think there is no reason to be upset.