Fear about building a social life


I notice resistance to the idea of using coaching / thought work on the feeling of being alone, as in: Objectively, I am alone, so why should I delusionally convince myself otherwise?

Here is the model:
C: I have had one social interaction with people besides my family, coworkers, or husband in the last month.
T: My social life is very lonely.
F: Ashamed
A: Pretend to others that I have an active social life. Avoid revealing to anyone that I’d like to interact more so they don’t catch on to how lonely I actually am. Hide personal details about my life from other people. Worry about if anyone finds out that I’m “unpopular”. Not put myself out there since that would seem “desperate” and prove to others how pathetic I am socially.
R: I work hard to keep my social life lonely

Funny when I look at this model how counterproductive it is, but I also have a lot of fear about doing anything to change it:

C: I have the option to change how I think, feel, and act on my social life.
T: I could get really hurt if I do change anything.
F: Scared
A: Stay within social comfort zone. Focus on past hurts. Focus on times I’ve been awkward or not have my own back in social interactions. Focus on social anxiety. Indulge in social anxiety.
R: I associate social change with pain.

Here is a potential intentional model:
C: I have the option to change how I think, feel, and act on my social life.
T: Maybe friendship could be neutral or even fun.
F: Curious
A: Sign up for Bumble BFF, complete profile, look for matches, allow myself to follow my desires on who looks like a fun and comfortable person to get to know. Consider joining school alumni association. Consider joining online book club. Think about setting up a game night with existing friends. Consider setting up a music jam session with family members.
R: I associate social change with possibility.

I’m not sure I have a specific question, but appreciate any feedback or tweaks on how I’m approaching this. It is one of the things that I think could lead to the biggest break-through in my life.