I have very conservative, fear based, well intentioned parents who lack boundaries, catastrophize, fear for my physical well being constantly (I’m 36) but genuinely want me to be happy. In the past, they have been highly unsupportive of me applying for different jobs, dating certain men, or making certain lifestyle changes. I am a pleaser, conditioned to want to please them, and definitely susceptible to negative thoughts myself. I’ve decided I want to find a new job in a big city and start the hunt to make this exciting but daunting change. I lack faith in myself and have lots of fears, but I know this is the next step for me to make in my life. It’s decided I just gotta make it happen.

Q: Do I tell my parents about my goal? I don’t want to a) worry them b) fail in front of them c) allow their fear based thinking to de-motivate me
They have expressed hurt in the past when I didn’t “include them on my journey” or left them out of my life. I love them dearly and want to be close to them, but not at the expense of my life goals.

Is it worth the risk of telling them, or wait until I have “something” to tell them (ie I’m moving to Chicago for a new job!) and they will feel surprised and left out and this will reinforce the distance between us emotionally.

Not even sure how to start a model with a Pro / Con type of decision like this??