Fear of Heights


I am in the Clearwater National Forest as a fire lookout with my husband until the end of August. It’s his gig and I decided to join him. I have no official duties but thought it would be fun to learn it together. It’s off grid living and we like this kind of stuff. But my biggest challenge is the tower as I have a fear of heights. As a scholar since January I had confidence I could work through it. The tower is 80 years old, 100 feet tall, with open stairs leading to a 7 by 7 metal hut structure with windows all around and a tall map table bolted to the floor in the middle. It’s cramped, it’s rustic. I can climb the stairs. I can go though the hatch, I can sit on a stool or the floor. I can look out the windows. But I feel an undercurrent of fear, it ebbs and flows in waves. So after a week of this I’ve decided to change my mind and only my husband will do the tower work and I will take care of ground chores. LCS teaches me that I am creating these fearful feelings and I’m surprised and feeling guilty I have not gotten over my fear and I am giving up. Any advice? I also get sea sick and have a sailing trip coming up next year.